Assisted Dignity

*This post is not a feminist issue, but rather a more personal issue.*

I recently lost a family member following a lengthy battle with cancer. This relative suffered from a cancerous tumour that wrapped itself around the top of the spine. It started off several years ago as a small growth that showed itself through pain and loss of sensation in one arm. Concerned about this, having already defeated another form of cancer twenty years earlier, my relative pushed for an MRI scan. A scan revealed a growth at the top of the spine. My relative was told that this was a difficult place, due to the proximity to the spinal cord.

After much discussion and many more appointments it was decided that they would try to operate and remove some/all/as much as they could of the tumour. Following the operation regular scans were arranged to check on the progress of this tumour, as unfortunately due to the location they could not remove it all. Over time the tumour grew. With this there was increasing pain, discomfort and loss of feeling.

Just over a year ago this relative lost all use of their hands and arms. The prognosis was not good, they were facing losing increasing use of their body below the neck as the tumour grew and wrapped around the spinal cord. As time went on this was indeed the case, until my relative could no longer feed, wash, toilet, move or even scratch an itch unaided. They grew increasingly frustrated at the lack of independence. Careers were drafted in, in shifts, to help this relative toilet etc. The pain however, was gradually increasing as the tumour pressed down.

The reason I include all of this detail is to give some idea of the journey this relative went down. This relative spent the last year of their live bed-bound and on constant pain relief. Towards the end they could no longer even feed through the tube that had supplied them before. Essentially they were in waiting for the end.

Their weight plummeted and the skin was taut as it sunk into hollows and sinews. It is not my intention to be macabre but to try and paint the human picture of those that suffer and spend their last days/weeks/months/years in such pain and unable to do anything that they had previously been able. Unable to speak or move my relative could not indicate their needs or wants. Visiting them it was horrifying to see how the once strong and vibrant individual had been reduced.
With very little experience of this I was shocked to see the position we put people in, the way we force them to go until 'the bitter end'. Prior to losing speech, mobility or any sense of autonomy over their life this relative had stated they never wanted to end up unable to do anything and being forced to onto high dose pain relief 24/7. However, there is very little within the law that can be done in such circumstances in this country.

It was watching this relative suffer in frustrated silence that prompted me to look further into the issue of dignity and assisted suicide, whilst far too late for them and illegal I wanted to understand the issue further. I had felt a hot impotent rage watching them forced to continue with their life against all that they had wanted, forced to endure the indignities that their circumstances brought and the pain they were in. I could scarcely understand how in this country vets will recommend to caring owners that sometimes to end the suffering the kindest thing was to put an animal to sleep. But with people we ignore their wishes and their suffering and force them to go until their body gives up.

As I said this journey has led me, over recent weeks, into a frustrated rage at a system that insist someone must go until it is their time. Until the body finally gives up. Upon looking into the arguments against allowing someone the dignity AND power to request assistance in ending their life if they are unable I feel they can be split into two groups:

• Arguments relating to the 'sanctity' of life
• Arguments relating to the view that relatives or individuals may seek to abuse this power.

Taking the first viewpoint, which seems to be a view held by many faiths, examples can be found here, here and here the 'sanctity' or god given gift of life is mentioned by many. There are a couple of responses that could be made: what if the person suffering is an atheist, should a deity that they do not believe in have a hold over their life through the law? The other response that I find myself increasingly making at the moment is how we can call someone suffering as a shell, in considerable pain, of what they once were protecting the sanctity of life.

I will leave that here for now, as it is still a very raw issue. I intend to contact my MP and urge them to raise the issue of dignity and choice in death in the Commons. I would ask that if you read this and live in the UK that you please do the same. I will follow this post in the near future with a less personal and fully reference piece about the nature and arguments in favour of dignity in death.